The first time I met
you, it wasn't love at first sight. My love for you formed gradually. Your
personality, your voice, your hair, your eyes, your joke, your attitude, the
way you looked away and smiled, gradually it all came clear to me and you were
exactly what I was looking for. My heart tells me this is the greatest feeling
I have ever had. When we first met, I didn't want to get involved with
anyone. I didn't have the time or gut and I didn't think I was ready for it but
you were so good to me and I got swept up in that and little by little I found
myself falling for you. But it's so hard to pretend to be friend with
someone special, when every time you look at that person, all you see is
everything that you want to have. I didn't choose to love you. It just
happened.
I may not get to see you
as often as I like. I may not get hold you in my arms all through the night.
But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love and can't let you
go. I crave you in the most innocent form. I crave to say good night and get
forehead kisses from you and to say that I adore you when you feel at your
worst. I crave you in ways where I just want to be next to you and nothing more
or less. It isn’t easy being so in love with you and not being able to see
you every day. There are times when I wish I can give anything just to be able
to gaze into your eyes or hold you in my arms, even for a few minutes. I wish I
could explain about your eyes and how the sound of your voice gives me
butterflies.
You’re annoying, you’re
hilarious, you makes me want to scream, you ruins my day and saves it at the
last minute, you drives me crazy, you’re out of his mind and I hate your guts
but you’re everything I want. We didn't have a normal relationship like other
people or we more like forbidden love but we teasing each other, we play
hit each other, we calling each other names but underneath that anyone could
see how much we care because if we listen closely to every joking “shut up”
there was an “I love you” inside it.
Sometimes I hate you and
then I love you. It’s feel like I want to push you off the cliff and catch you at
the bottom. I choose a guy’s old sweatshirt over a new piece of necklace. I choose
cuddling in bed all night over a fun hang out. I choose fast food in home over
a nice fancy dinner. But that’s just me. It’s easy to make me happy. I don’t
need anything extra because I already have everything I want is you. You know it’s true love
when no matter how far the distance is he can still make me smile. Every day I
miss him is another day I fall harder. Missing you reminds me how much you’re
worth it. Hearing your voice and seeing you smile makes the hurt disappear in a
moment. Having you hold me in your arms makes all my doubts disappear. Every
kiss is a smile waiting to happen. Each goodbye is a reminder of how precious
every minute is with you.
I’ve gotten so used to
not being able to see you ever day, so used to it that I can cope and go
through days just fine without you here. I can be alone or with friends and I
would be happy. But when I suddenly see couples together laughing, looking into
each other’s eyes and smiling or even simply holding hands at my university,
that’s when I suddenly don’t feel strong and my heart starts to feel burden and
I feel like breaking down and really need you beside me. I try and stay strong
every day, I mean that’s what I’ve been doing for the whole time and I wish you
were here like right next to me. I feel worst that I can’t hug or just simply
be with you. I wish distance will never separate us emotionally.
I'm looking forward to small things like we did on that night. It's really warm my heart. I feel like we are in different space. We did like cuddling up and watching movies, holding hand, getting into cute little sarcastic arguments, taking care of you, taking about how we end up like each other, cheering you up when you're crying. I'm getting lost in your eyes, falling asleep with you wrapped up in your arms. Still remember the day that I had period pain
that made my whole body shaking because hold the pain, you stay right next to
me and keep me comfort till all the pain gone. You’re my medicine for all any
kind of my pain.
You know what I love most about us?
I love how comfortable we are with each other. I love how we endlessly make fun
of each other but never take the teasing to heart. I love the look in your eyes
when we talk or how you stay up to watch me sleep. I love how I can call you
anytime when I need someone and somehow you never cease to make me laugh. I
love how you hold me. I love how you look at me funny when I say something
stupid. I love when you laugh when I say something random or stupid. I love how
you keep telling me I look cute. I love how you squeeze me so hard when we’re
hugging. I love how I feel more comfortable with you after second met. I love
how you deal with my picky eating habits. I love how you keep me warm when I’m
cold, you did the burrito thing. That’s really fun actually. I 3000 times love how
you worry about me, even it’s just a little hurt but you still taking care of
me. I love how you tickle me. I love how you get mad when someone says
something to upset me. I love how you try to get to know my friends and you
remember my friends’ name. I love how you kiss me which is non-stop kissing. I
love how you kiss my back, my neck, my cheeks and my forehead. I love how you
making the stupid face. I love how you get jealous. I love when you hug me
while you’re crying. I love how you bring down my mood without the intention to
and affect my emotions with every action of yours. You’re even adore when I get
mad or the way I get mad over something.
You’re the only one who I wouldn’t
mind losing sleep for, the only one who I can never get tired of talking to and
the only one who crosses my mind constantly throughout the day. You’re the last
thing on my mind when I go to bed and the first thing I think about when I get
up. When I get up, the first thing I will check if our facetime call still
ongoing or want to read your morning wish and I continue my sleep peacefully.
At night when I close my eyes there is darkness along with my thoughts of you. My
thought is you might not have been my first love but you were that made me
realized this is love that I’m dreaming for. Which is the best relationships
usually begin unexpectedly.
I miss you a little or a little too
much or a little too often or more accurate, a little more each day.
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